Summer, Country, and Procrastination

I am probably the worst blogger ever. I think it's safe to say my posts will be limited to one a month. I get very tired of staring at a computer screen. I don't even know where February went. I'm craving summer bad. I'm sitting at my kitchen table, glaring out at the snow like I just found out it talked shit behind my back, willing it to melt. Melt, bitch, melt! This is the time of year I get antsy. Hell, who am I kidding. I was getting antsy in November. I dislike the cold. Instead of working on my assignments, I'm daydreaming about hot summer days spent lounging in the shade with a book or magazine. I'm thinking about numerous summer activities I love: running outside, hiking, picnics, mountain biking, jumping off a dock and swimming in a lake, outdoor concerts/music festivals, camping, sea-doing, boating, ATVing, white water rafting. Those last three are on my to-do list for this summer. Simply having a backyard BBQ with friends, listening to some classic rock and sipping a beer. Man, those are good times.

I mentioned outdoor concerts and music festivals. I LOVE LOVE LOVE these. I went to Sarnia Bayfest last summer for the country night to see Brantley Gilbert. It was the highlight of my summer. I had so much fun. A few red solo cups and a couple of Palm Bays later, and I found myself on a boat until 5am. Sadly, they are on "hiatus" this year because there is not enough revenue to meet costs. There are, however, other festivals, country ones, specifically, where I can tip a drink or two back and watch THIS GUY (see video; because we all know there's at least one at every event).

Country music festivals have this laid-back vibe that I find captivating. It reminds me of a hippie culture; everyone pops up a tent or trailer, sits back in a lawn chair with a cooler of beer next them, gets a fire going and plays music before the concert starts. The air is thick with barbeque smoke and smells of a mixture of charred burgers, hotdogs, and oh yes, weed. Everyone's just so chill and relaxed. I wonder why...

This is why I'm looking forward to August. I'll be going to the Boots & Hearts festival one weekend, and the Havelock Jamboree the next. Could I be anymore hick? It's nice to be carefree for a weekend and to be among likeminded people who just want to have a good time. So as I sit here surrounded by assignment papers, staring out at the shitty mountain of snow, I fantasize about the summer to come. I feel it's going to be a good one.

Kiss Your Sassafras

Shit. It's been over a month since my last post. Sigh. Well things got a little busy after Christmas, then I started back at school, blah blah blah. Anyways, here I am. I figured I'd write a little blurb about the title of this blog--Sassafras--and explain it.

The idea came from an Aerosmith song, "Love In An Elevator," where one of the lyrics is "kiss your sassafras." That line always stuck out for me, no idea why. Steven Tyler comes up with a lot of funky, tongue-in-cheek, sometimes controversial lyrics, which just demonstrates his cheeky and sometimes flippant personality. In other words, he can be a little shit. And I love it. So maybe that's why I chose it as the title? I'm not really sure, but perhaps on some subconscious level I chose it because it reminds me of being cheeky and a little defiant, which I probably will be like in some of my posts depending on what I write about.

On the other hand, I was curious to see if "sassafras" was even a real word or if it was just something Steven made up in the midst of spitting out lyrics. Apparently, a sassafras is a type of tree found in eastern North America and eastern Asia. It's main uses were to add fragrance to perfumes and soaps by distilling the bark to produce an essential oil, consisting mainly of safrole. Sassafras extract was also a primary ingredient in root beer, and the roots and leaves could be steeped to make tea. The use of sassafras oil and safrole in commerically-based and mass-produced products was banned in 1960 by the FDA, based on lab reports that it caused cancer and liver damage in test animals. In 1994 the ban was lifted, but only sassafras extracts which did not contain safrole were permissible. Interesting. FYI, this is all according to Wikipedia.

Now that I've given you a brief and probably boring biology lesson, I also found articles/posts that explained slang or alternative meanings to the word sassafras, which I'm guessing is the reason behind Steven's use of it. One blogger (http://www.oneyearintexas.com/2009/01/love-in-elevator-living-it-up-or-going.html)  suggested that it was another term for weed, and "kiss your sassafras" meant go smoke some. Urbandictionary.com says that its:
1. slang for MDA--a "psychedelic stimulant"--which I'm assuming is somewhere along the lines of E.
2. a sassy or feisty girl
3. the act of being a smart-ass or, derived from the root word "sass," has come to be associated with heavy amounts of sarcasm, sardonicism, facetiousness, witticism, or any other form of swarmy behaviour

So basically, it's either drug-related or smart-ass-related. Of course. This couldn't be a more perfect term   to be associated with Aerosmith and Steven Tyler. Personally, the last one is my favourite. That's what was in my mind when I thought of the title. Sometimes I thought he was singing "kiss your sassy ass" so it makes sense. Plus, I love sarcasm. I am a sarcastic person. It's kind of funny when I think about it, how it all falls together under further investigation. Sassafras, then, is a very fitting title to my blog.

So I'll try and post sooner rather than later, if I don't, and someone cares, they can kiss my sassafras ;)

Ho Ho Ho and a Bottle of Jager

It's Christmas Eve. Finally. I wait for this day every year, oddly enough. I've never considered myself to be a "family" person, particularly, but I look forward to Christmas all year long. I guess it's because my family is hilarious and unconventional. I'm sure everyone can say their family is "crazy" and "abnormal" or something of the like, but I can probably guarantee that not too many people can say they've listened to their grandmother tell a story about how the first time she met grandpa's family his sister grabbed her boobs. Or how grandpa would share sexual stories with his fam and embarrass the shit out of her. Or how, infront of my dad, I asked my aunt and uncle how their trip to Vegas was and her immediate response was "You're gonna get laid." I just shake my head and laugh.

Three years ago, my aunt gave me a gift card for a tattoo and a penis-shaped sucker for Christmas. My grandma's response? "You can suck on that while you're getting your tattoo." Thanks for that, grandma. Two years ago, my grandma gave me red lacy panties. Somehow they ended up being used as a sling-shot to hit people with. One year my grandma got drunk and fell in the snow on our way to see the lights in the park, as is our tradition every year. Since then, she has refused to drink more than 2 glasses of wine, no matter how hard we try to get her drunk again.

Anything sexual is definitely a topic that surfaces every year. I learned what an "angry dragon" is one year (Google it) and what benefit pineapples have on sperm another year, both from my aunt, of course. For some reason these conversations are not awkward. They're just hilarious. It makes for good stories till we're all laughing so hard we can't breathe. My cousins and I always look at eachother in the middle of this hilariousness and say that no one ever believes that our family is like this. We have to warn our boyfriends that they might be hit on, in a non-creepy way of course, or have to listen to grandma tell us how much fun she had in Vegas with the Chippendales. Or how she had too many Long Island iced-teas at the cottage and "backed the tree into the car"--her exact words. Clearly she was probably tippin back that wine bottle when we weren't looking before she told that story.

We also have a fully stocked bar. That might explain where these crazy stories come from, but I swear we haven't even been drinking (much) when they start. My aunt always arrives with at least 6 different bottles of alcohol. This year her and I agreed to have a little Jager. I've also set up Twister, so it should definitely be an interesting night. No shortage of fun here. Maybe we'll watch Family Feud and laugh our asses off as grandma starts shooting off all the different terms for marijuana like it's her business (it happened).

Merry Christmas :)

Here we go!

Well, here I am.  I've gone back and forth over the decision to start a blog. At first, it didn't hold much appeal. Probably because it's something that 90% of people do these days, and I have this natural tendency to reject anything that is overly popular. Ironic, since the things I'll mostly be writing about are a part of popular culture. There was also the fact that university essays left a bitter taste in my mouth in regards to writing. Sure, there were some decent ones, but for the most part, they were tedious. Then it hit me: I'm not in university anymore. I've graduated. This doesn't have to be so serious. I can have fun with this blog. I can write about whatever the hell I want, my own way.

And so here it is. The point is to have fun, express myself, and hopefully generate some laughs. As it says in the intro, pop culture tidbits, random thoughts, opinions, and observations will be the basis of my entries. Basically, whatever I feel like talking about. Whatever intrigues me.

The rule is: there are no rules.